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International Industrial Inventions

Comrade Zondo
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Comrade Zondo

In August 2018, that’s two years ago, King Cyril started a public shame-a-thon through which his clique had expected to disgrace the other faction of the ANC by laundering various claims of impropriety against them. This drama has been stated as the Zondo Commission. Notice that the commission was suggested by the public protector (I think she’s been run out of her job) in 2016 and that it is now 2020. Four years have gone by since this work was indicated as being necessary. In 2016 the public protector said there was a need to inquire into allegations of state-capture in South Africa.

According to the toilet of common knowledge, known as “Wikipedia”, state capture is:

State capture is a type of systemic political corruption in which private interests significantly influence a state's decision-making processes to their own advantage. The term "state capture" was first used by the World Bank, around the year 2000, to describe the situation in certain central Asian countries making the transition from Soviet communism. Specifically, it was applied to situations where small corrupt groups used their influence over government officials to appropriate government decision-making in order to strengthen their own economic positions; these groups' members would later become known as oligarchs.

So while for whatever reason, from 2016 to 2018 nothing happened, note that the work was indicated as being necessary but nothing happened for two years, finally the work was scheduled and started in 2018. Now I’m not saying that I know every crook in the ANC and I’m not saying that the ANC is the only crime syndicate that is stealing from the state. But I am saying that given that the state is audited by department and entity, and that since presumably every expense is investigated to make sure that there is no fraud, corruption, malfeasance or creative accounting – surely the auditors would have been able to corelate specific state expenditure to instances of testimony at the inquiry that suggested corruption?

Now there were very few oligarchs during the time of the alleged state capture and even if the commission summoned one person to testify about the corruption of each oligarch, we should have been finished with this Zondo Commission as an instance of state expenditure is less than three months. But the problem is that in South Africa, we have a somewhat corrupt work ethic that says avoid doing the work that is necessary for as long as possible, then when you eventually have to start, drag it out for as long as possible. This means that nothing runs to time or under budget, and that nothing gets done properly.

Now I’m not saying that Comrade Zondo is no better than Jacob “The Organiser” Zuma, I’m not saying that Comrade Zondo is a Jin Chan or a Chan Chu no different to a Gupta or a Watson and I’m not saying that Comrade Zondo is dragging his heals and stretching the job through fatuousness; but seriously it doesn’t take more than two years to hear all of the allegations which implicate the officials and the oligarchs in acts of corruption which allegedly took place over the course of a decade.

You start early in the day, at 7am, you take a 15 minute break every 3 hours, you work until 5pm everyday and you work weekends and public holidays – and you get the job done in three months. You prove that in the course of exposing corruption, that you do not abuse the goodwill of the people and the welfare of the public good. You do not charge outrageous fortunes for your services, in fact you get every paid worker who works in the commission of inquiry to work for minimum wage. You don’t turn the people’s hearing into the corruption into a junket for the amusement of a few and spend month after month getting paid a fat wage without producing results.

We are all familiar with the demeanour of public sector corruption, it takes long lunch breaks, after starting work late and before finishing work early. It is slow and cantankerous and demands high wages for little effort and paltry production. It is fatuous in its very nature and arrogant in its pathetic apprehension and by and large it is incompetent. Now I know that you will accuse of me of disparaging the beings of those who have gotten where they are through employment equity and/or black empowerment, but surely if employment equity gave the corrupt power to collude with those raised up through black empowerment – it doesn’t make much sense to allow those who have benefited from the corrupt system of employment equity permission to hear allegations of impropriety against those who have benefited from the corrupt system of black empowerment?

But perhaps that is too much common sense for the average South African, who has a reputation throughout the world for being stupid, lazy and corrupt. So what I want to ask Comrade Zondo is this: Comrade Zondo, will the gravy train that is the Zondo Commission (it’s eighteen months late and over budget) go on for much longer, given that it is becoming indicative of the oligarchs associated with King Cyril using it to lampoon the oligarchs associated with Jacob the Toad, former Viceroy of Greater Zululand?

If in fact the Zondo Commission is a tool of the new regime to extort the old regime, then it is as much corrupt as any other gravytrain isn’t it? What does Comrade Zondo have to say about it?

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